суббота, 18 октября 2008 г.

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WOW. Am I really writing an entry in my live journal?�After all this time?�

YES - I AM

And, I am finding that it is very.. Cathartic. It is a weird feeling though. I am not sure anyone really reads livejournal anymore�(except Sawyer - youapos;ve stayed true to the cause) so itapos;s almost weird writing knowing that it will probably be months, maybe even years before someone reads this. Similar to what happened to me tonight. I�was thinking about starting a blog on blogspot and began thinking about my livejournal. I was sure it had deleted because I�havenapos;t logged on in well over a year, but to my surprise, everything was still here. Okay, so alot of pictures have been deleted, but itapos;s like my emotional state was frozen in time through every entry. Itapos;s very..nostalgic.

I just feel like looking back at my journal tonight and remembering who I�was..and thinking about how it has shaped who I�am. Itapos;s nice to remember a time in your life when you thought about life instead of getting caught in it. Itapos;s nice to look back and try to remember what it was like to yearn for some perspective.

Itapos;s a Saturday night and Iapos;m thinking about my friends. Today is Marthaapos;s 24th birthday.�Tomorrow is Clarieapos;s 24th birthday.�24 sounds old to me even though itapos;s not. Today I was thinking that 17 doesnapos;t sound that young, until�I realized I am 6 years older than a 17 year old. And that made me feel old. Am I where I�wanted to be in life?�Not really.�Does/should what I�wanted matter?�Not sure?

Maybe Iapos;m not exactly where I�wanted to be, but am I WHO�I wanted to be?�Thatapos;s�a good question. Maybe I�just need a�little perspective.

If you do still frequent the olapos; LJ, please comment and let me know your alive. I miss everyone truly madly deeply.

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So Jenni has an ear infection. Apparently, when dogs get ear infections, they get this discussing, smelly, brown goo in their ears. Itapos;s nasty... Point being, I canapos;t get a vet appointment until Monday so the vet suggested I rinse her ears with a mixture of water and vinegar to help with the itching and clean out some of the goo.
However, she failed to mention that I should use WARM water. My dad was helping me hold Jenni down so I could rinse the ear out (Jenni didnapos;t like it) when he said, "They used to squirt cold water into prisonerapos;s ears at Quantanamo. Should have used warm water."

THANKS I just tortured my already sick dog. Couldnapos;t have mentioned that earlier?

Jerk. Poor Jenni.

And she was up all night last night scratching it so sheapos;s just been lying around and sleeping all day today. =(

Also, I need to clean my apartment... And go to class more offten...

I have a great job tho... I now make $800 a month. Thatapos;s almost a salary. Woo And everyone I work with loves my dog... Thatapos;s all that really matters to me. =)
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Whoapos;s that "hobomama" person that added you, you ask?

That was me.

Iapos;m not quite done transferring and reorganizing everything on that account, so Iapos;m going to keep posting in this journal until Iapos;m done.

I guess Iapos;ll delete/purge whatever this account... Next Friday?�Would that be fair for everyone? I guess if someone doesnapos;t add me by then, Iapos;ll comment on their next journal telling them whatapos;s going on.

Anyway, Iapos;m exhausted. X_x; The football game was terrible. We tied in the fourth quarter and went into overtime, which took FOREVER.
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пятница, 17 октября 2008 г.

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From Velma, over at Making Light at 12; 24 am October 17th:
Back to the ICU today, where his blood pressure has gone down to a reasonable level. If it stays down tonight, theyapos;ll try to get him back up to the stroke unit. (Mind you, they moved him at 6am, and when I went there, shortly after noon [Iapos;d overslept], theyapos;d left all his belongings upstairs. Hmph.)

He was 18 years old for a while today, again, glaring at me somewhat skeptically, then 44 and wondering why I kept asking him how old he was. At one point, he drank the apple juice they had left for him, then took the little pink pitcher (which Bill had filled with about a quart of ice and water), removed the lid himself, and drank out of it without spilling any on himself. (Which is better than I can do -- I always get ice bouncing down my chin.)

He got very goofy at me this evening, rolling his eyes, and sticking his tongue out. He has more words, when heapos;s awake, and is bouncing back and forth between getting angry and frustrated, and making a face and saying, "Oh, well." Heapos;s also asking a lot of questions about time: how long have I been here? how long will it take to leave?

(I did speak with the social worker today, and am not thrilled with the way we have to request the emergency grants, but so it goes.)

Heapos;s going through a lot of mood swings, which is to be expected, of course: frustration, confusion, resignation, anger, and "this sucks, but itapos;s also weird" or something like it.

And yes, he did try to climb out of the bed and stand up again, and he got very cranky when I thwarted him again; he forgave me, though, and pulled me over to kiss him before I left for the night.

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Nou, van de 3 uitzendingen die ik onder de naam Turbulent heb mogen doen was die van afgelopen week
met stip het dieptepunt. Het ging in mijn hoofd mis bij een dikke hit waar ik positieve reacties op kreeg,
"goeie plaat" 'lekker liedje van net' terwijl ik daarvoor Stealers Wheel draaide. Maar daar had niemand t over.
Ik bleef beleefd, maar in gedachten d8 ik toen "stelletje fucking wankers.. Wat is er toch in fucks naam mis met jullie?"
Die hit is volop te horen, ongewild krijg je dat kreng op ieder radiostation door de trommelvliezen geschoten,
en nog zijn er dan bellers die even willen benadrukken dat juist dat liedje echt te gek is. Ik kon mezelf niet bedwingen
toen ik niet lang daarna een beller kreeg die een plaat wilde aanvragen en de groetjes wilde doen. Shut the fuck up.
Wat willen we nou met z'n allen in dit land? Robot diejie's die niks zeggen, allemaal op elkaar lijken en ook allemaal
dezelfde platen gaan draaien? Ik snap er soms echt helemaal geen ene fuck meer van. En dat doet best pijn.
Die droomwereld diek had tussen 00-04 uur bij 100NL (AmbivanLent) heeft bij 3FM geen bestaansrecht.
Ik moet echt weer helemaal opnieuw beginnen. Bij nader inzien is dat eigenlijk ook volstrekt logisch.



Stenders lachte me weer keihard uit toen ik hem op verzoek uitlegde hoe de uitzending was verlopen.
"weet je bert, je moet die kleine egosentrische wereld van je is doorbreken. Kappen met leven in jou wereld.
maak je nou is niet druk om de muziek, maar wat je tussen de plaatjes door doet. En focus je niet op dingen
die negatief zijn in jou leven, maar maak je nou is druk om dingen die in de echte wereld gaande zijn."

Ik kon niks anders doen dan hem gelijk geven. Aanstaande Dinsdagn8 mag ik het weer gaan bewijzen.



Verder ben ik deze week 2 dagen wezen werken in die boekenhal. Tuurlijk, het is verneukt werk.
Maar als ik klaar ben en ik loop door de deur naar buiten de vrijheid tegemoet dan waardeer ik alles
wat ik in de rest van mijn tijd kan doen wel een stuk meer. De bodem aantikken kan toch best goed zijn.
Al is het alleen maar vanwege het besef dat ik eigenlijk niet zo veel moet henk mauwen om de kleine dingen.
Het kan allemaal nog veel erger. Ik had ook een rammelende hongerneger met lepra in Afrika kunnen zijn.



Ik heb de verleiding van wiet roken tot op heden nog steeds weten te weerstaan. Soms op het randje.
Op dat soort momenten heb je veel aan een denkbeeldige vriendin of dierbare luisteraar. Thkx Leen Moos.
En straks weer lekker naar Amsterdam voor de meest romantische dag van week. De KX Vrijdag. Nu al zin in


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четверг, 16 октября 2008 г.

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Today the plan was that my cleaner would move the obstacles in the dining room, Iapos;d give the walls a lick of paint, and then sheapos;d take up the carpet to reveal the boards underneath.

In 4 hours Iapos;ve painted a wall, then when the paper got wet it fell down, and revealed a multitude of sins underneath, so after lots of sanding I am now waiting for filler to dry.

I wonder if we really will get this done today...

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PTJ asked us to examine the tensions between the empirical and the rational.

For the purpose of this discussion, "empirical" conclusions or ideas are ideas drawn from what can be specifically observed, and hold observable facts as a reasonable representation of reality. "Rational" conclusions or ideas are ideas derived from a specifically structured and potentially very isolated thought process, with little to do with observable facts, and hold non-derivative ideas as reasonable representations of reality.

Within these definitions, Descartes is the ultimate example of the "rational." As we discussed in detail in class and in other posts, Descartes was skeptical of everything except the very purest idea he could produce in his isolation.

Hobbes appears to be arguing with Descartes. However, I would not describe his process as purely empirical. Hobbes himself divides ways of doing philosophy into these two categories (Chapter IX) but does not seem to privilege one above the other. PTJ hinted that Hobbes uses "empirical rational" arguments, which I took to mean that Hobbesapos; arguments require both observation and conceptual thinking.

PTJ said to look at the tension between empirical and rational in Ch. 13, and the three weird empirical examples there. I feel like I may be off on this, since so many things show up in threes, but what stuck out to me was the "three principal causes of quarrel: first, competition; secondly, diffidence; thirdly, glory" (Chapter XIII, sec 6). So Hobbes empirically observed that men have these three qualities, and then rationally argued that these qualities are directly causational of certain (particularly warmaking) behavior.

In most of his arguements, Hobbes seems to use both empirical and rational thought. I feel like Iapos;m missing the "tension" here.


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Old Man Yells At Cloud (� Keith Olbermann)...
That, "my friends", was a good old-fashioned ASS-WHOOPINapos;


McCain: *@#^^$^#(@#((*^@#@^#^

Obama: Step aside pops. Lemme show ya how itapos;s done.

This was the "hot" debate weapos;ve all be waiting for and Obama was on fire.
It was almost painful to watch McCain desperately fumble his way through a botched attack strategy and fall flat on substantive issues.
Obama was so solidly on point that McCain looked like he was going to self-combust due to lack of real details to back up his assertions.

Obama was cool.
Obama was collected.
Obama was thoughtful.
Obama was detailed.
Obama was nimble.
Obama was firm.
Obama was well versed in both candidatesapos; policy points.
Obama showed leadership.
Obama was presidential.

McCain? Was. Angry.


McCain = Old and busted.
Obama = New hotness.

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So.. A certain some one told me to update this... Here goes.

me:� iapos;m still the same easy going person who always likes a laugh, i dont think i gained nor lost any weight for the past 2 years,� i may have gotten slightly taller...�

my job:� i count... Inventory for various stores.... Itapos;s not fun.� i never really have bad days but i didnapos;t see myself doing this.�

future:� iapos;m going to school as soon as i can get life settled, and what shall my life changing career be?� fuck if i know...� iapos;m thinking of making my own business, which iapos;ve always wanted, or at least managing a business.�

HOME: i currently live with my brother, still in windber, he blames everything on my and flips out constantly, that is what family is for, right?� i almost bought a house, but i ditched the idea because i dont want to live here, iapos;d like to move to a bigger place, iapos;m tired of living so slow...�

love: wow, well, iapos;ve turned into an asshole/heart breaker/non-caring individual.� i break up with every one i date within a week, or i never call them back... Maybe itapos;s them, but i think itapos;s more me.�� i just canapos;t find a girl to motivate me anymore, maybe i just have bad luck?� itapos;s not like i try to hurt anyone, ah well.

music: i still love it.� i even play guitar a lil now. Mostly stuff i made up but i know a few things.

i donapos;t know what else to put in here, iapos;m tired, i leave for work at 3:30am and i need something more... I need a lot more.

thanks for ready, keep in touch.
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